Three Practices That Changed the Way I See Life

Recently, I had the opportunity to be interviewed by Bold Journey magazine. One of the questions they asked caused me to pause and reflect:

“If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?”

I loved this question because it made me think about my own journey—not necessarily about qualities I have mastered, but about practices and perspectives that have helped me navigate life with a little more awareness, compassion, and trust.

Three immediately came to mind.

1. Becoming the Observer

We can become so caught up in our thoughts, emotions, and stories that we begin to believe they are who we are.

I’m anxious.
I’m angry.
I’m not enough.
Things never work out for me.

But what if we could create just a little space between ourselves and those thoughts?

One of the most powerful practices I’ve learned is simply becoming the observer.

When we slow down enough to witness a thought or emotion without immediately reacting to it, something shifts. Instead of saying, “I am anxious,” perhaps we can notice, “I am experiencing anxiety right now.”

There is a subtle but powerful difference.

We begin to remember that we are not our thoughts. We are not our emotions. We are Divine Beings having a human experience, and thoughts and emotions can come and go like clouds moving across the sky.

Some clouds are light and beautiful. Others are dark and stormy. But the sky remains.

I like to think that we are the sky.

When we become the observer, we create space between what we experience and how we respond. We can begin to choose which thoughts deserve our energy and which ones we can simply acknowledge and allow to pass.

That space is where so much of our freedom lives.

2. Practicing Self-Compassion

Another practice that has deeply changed my life is learning to give myself grace.

Many of us are incredibly compassionate toward the people we love, yet the voice we use with ourselves can be surprisingly critical.

We focus on what we should have done differently. What we haven't accomplished. How our bodies have changed. Where we think we have fallen short.

But what if we spoke to ourselves the way we would speak to someone we deeply love?

Self-compassion has taught me that kindness doesn't have to begin with someone else. It can begin within.

One of my daily practices is simply thanking my heart and my body.

Thank you, heart, for continuing to beat.
Thank you, body, for carrying me through another day.
Thank you for everything you have endured, healed, experienced, and allowed me to do.

Instead of constantly asking our bodies to be different, younger, stronger, thinner, healthier, or somehow better, perhaps we can occasionally stop and appreciate everything they are already doing for us.

Self-compassion also helps loosen the grip of comparison, perfectionism, and self-criticism.

We can begin replacing:

“I’m not enough.”

with:

“I am learning. I am growing. I am human.”

And when we offer ourselves that kind of grace, we often discover that we have even more compassion to extend to others.

3. Remembering That Our Soul Has a Curriculum

This perspective has completely changed the way I look at life:

What if there are no mistakes?

What if the people we encounter, the relationships that challenge us, the doors that close, the unexpected detours, and even the experiences we never would have chosen are somehow part of our soul's curriculum?

Perhaps some experiences come to teach us boundaries.

Others teach us courage.

Some teach us independence, forgiveness, compassion, patience, or surrender.

And sometimes grief and loss open places within our hearts that we never knew existed.

When I look at life through this lens, I find myself asking a different question.

Instead of only asking:

“Why is this happening to me?”

I can gently ask:

“What might this be here to teach me?”

That doesn't mean we need to pretend painful experiences aren't painful. Spiritual growth doesn't require us to bypass grief, anger, disappointment, or fear.

We are here to experience all of it.

But perhaps we can hold our experiences with a little more curiosity and a little less resistance.

Looking back on my own life, some of the experiences I once wished away ultimately became some of my greatest teachers. They changed me, softened me, strengthened me, and sometimes redirected me toward a path I couldn't yet see.

Maybe that is part of the curriculum too.

The Practice Is the Journey

Becoming the observer. Practicing self-compassion. Trusting the soul's curriculum.

I don't see these as things we accomplish and check off a list. They are practices we return to again and again.

Some days we will observe our thoughts with ease. Other days we will get swept right into the story.

Some days self-compassion will come naturally. Other days our inner critic will be loud.

And there will certainly be moments when trusting life's curriculum feels nearly impossible.

That's okay.

Perhaps the goal isn't to master any of this.

Perhaps the goal is simply to remember.

To remember that we can pause.

To remember that we can choose again.

To remember to offer ourselves grace.

And to remember that even when we cannot yet understand the lesson, our story may still be unfolding exactly as it needs to.

So I'll leave you with the same question that caused me to pause:

If you had to choose three qualities, practices, or perspectives that have had the greatest impact on your own journey, what would they be?

Maybe take a few quiet moments today and listen for what comes up.

You might be surprised by what your own journey has been teaching you all along.